A Wrinkle in Time

I’m 31.

OH GOOD GOD I’M 31.

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So, the fine lines and forehead wrinkles are starting to appear. And since I don’t have big enough balls to get botox, I’ve been on the hunt for an instant wrinkle filler for when I need a quick fix.

Here are my top picks:

Peter Thomas Roth’s Instant Firm

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Your forehead won’t budge for hours, I promise. Just be careful not to use too much, as it can get a little ashy. I know it’s spendy at $48, but Ulta and Sephora have a mini-sized version available for $10. Boom. Perfect.

Revlon’s Age Defying Wrinkle Remedy Line Filler

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It’s a great primer for your forehead and around your eyes. And it prevents makeup from settling (and highlighting) your wrinkles. Boom, sold again. This stuff is available anywhere- Walgreen’s, Target, ect. A steal at $12.

Good luck, and let me know what works for you!

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Double, Double OIL and Trouble

Ok, so you all know that argan oil is the new black, right? It’s in every beauty product these days-shampoo, foundation, lotion, lip gloss, etc.

Some companies like to jack up the price when it comes to this special ingredient. (FYI, argan oil is an aromatic oil from the seeds of the argan tree- native to southwestern Morocco.)

Let me first say that I’m not opposed to expensive beauty products-at all! If it works, don’t break it. And a lot of the stuff out there is worth the high price! But if you can find something for less, that works just as well, (or better), why not use it?

Dove is a great, affordable brand. And their argan oil hair product line is awesome-no bull.

My favorite item is the Nourishing Oil Care Detangler. Like I’ve mentioned before, I have very fine hair, but lots of it. I get knots and bird nests galore. AND my hair gets dirty very fast-it needs to be washed every day.

Dove’s Nourishing Oil Care Detangler leaves my hair super soft and it doesn’t weigh it down or make it greasy. Sold! (For $4 at any drugstore.)

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Two-Buck Chuck. Er, Chap?

My favorite new lip product costs a whopping two bucks.

ChapStick Hydration Lock provides “8 hours of advanced moisturization, revitalizes and visibly improves the appearance of lips, and is enriched with antioxidant CoQ10 and hyaluronic filling spheres,” according to their ads. I have no idea what the last bit means, but I’m sure it’s some kind of code for “wicked awesome.” It also works great for a lip primer!

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And if you’re like me-that person who applies ChapStick with the same fervor and frequency of a caffeine addict with OCD, it’s a pretty dang good deal. (NO SHADE TO MY OCD PEEPS-I GOT IT TOO.) Get your kiss on.

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(But good Lord, not like that!)

A Scale of Two Cities

SCALY, FLAKY SKIN IS NOT SEXY. ON ANYONE. NOPE.

Enter-Suave’s Smoothing Cocoa Butter with Shea body lotion.

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Why this lotion over the literally hundreds of others? Because it’s not greasy, it absorbs quickly, it smells a bit like crème brulee, and you can get a big ol’ bottle for like, SIX BUCKS. And you can find it anywhere: Walgreen’s, Target, Rite Aid, even the grocery store.

I layer mine under my Prada Candy perfume. And guess what? It layers beautifully, and it’s about 1/7th the price of Prada lotion.

No Assembly Required.

I can’t apply false lashes. I just can’t. I’ve been trying for 15 years. I don’t know if it’s my lack of hand-eye coordination or just my general hot messiness, but I’ve given up.

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So what’s a girl to do? You must, must, MUST use both a lengthening and thickening mascara. Two different tubes. You know those 2 in 1 shampoo/conditioners? Notice how they never really work? You either get too much shampoo and too little conditioner, or dirty hair because the shampoo side isn’t strong enough. Same with mascara. I know every brand boasts a “lengthening & thickening in one!” product, but shorty is smarter than that.

Here is my favorite 1-2 combination punch that’ll make you look like you own stock in Latisse!

For thickening/volume, you can’t go wrong with L’Oreal Voluminous mascara. It’s cheap (around $7), effective, and you can find it anywhere-Ulta, Target, Walgreens, etc. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it! The waterproof formula is fabulously anti-flake, too.

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I’m partial to their “Carbon Black” formula. That shit is BLACKY BLACK BLACK. I have short, light lashes, and this stuff is sweeeeet.

L'Oreal Voluminous Mascara in Carbon Black

For lengthening, my favorite is from a brand called Eyeko. Their “Black Magic” formula is, well, magic. If you’re really in a hurry, just swipe on two coats of this, and you’re good to go. You’ll have lashes for days. I know it’s a bit spendy ($24), but it will last you longer than other brands, since you don’t need that much. Available at Sephora, and Eyeko.

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No falsies needed.

The Bee’s Knees.

So I thought I’d be done with pimples when I hit 30. WRONG. Bitches be poppin’ up all the time. Some nights I’ll go to bed all clear, but when I wake up…..

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One day as I was aimlessly wandering around one of my favorite places (Walgreen’s), I stumbled upon the Burt’s Bees Blemish Stick. At only $8, I decided to give it a try.

Girrrrlllls. This stuff works. After you wash you face at night, roll the stick over your “trouble zones” (for me it’s the sides of my nose and lower chin). Warning: it’s gonna burn a bit. BUT IT HURTS SO GOOD. In the morning, apply again and let dry before you put on your make-up and/or moisturizer. In a couple days, you’ll be as good as new. This little tube has worked it’s way into my “Beauty Hall of Fame” list. It’s that legit. And you can find it anywhere-Target, Walgreen’s, Rite Aid, WalMart, CVS, etc. Get on it.

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